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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Thanksgiving for Christmas Surprise

For the past year, Nathan and I have been working on being licensed as foster-to-adopt parents through our county’s children’s services. We have been planning to take in a little girl under the age of two in a “legal risk” placement; meaning that children’s services will most likely get permanent custody and the child will become free for adoption. Of course, there is always the chance that the birth family works out their issues and the little one is able to go back home to them.

We spent most of September and part of October taking nearly 40 hours of classes on foster parenting. We had to be licensed in CPR and first aid. Our home was inspected by the fire marshal for fire safety and we installed extra smoke alarms and fire extinguishers on each floor of the house. We handed over copies of our pets’ vaccine records, proof of car insurance, copies of monthly bills, medical exams on all four of us, proof of drivers licenses, birth certificates, social security cards, and pay stubs. We were finger printed, background checked, and interviewed nearly out of our minds. We spent the end of November and most of December with weekly two hour long visits from the social worker as she interviewed us about nearly every aspect of our lives thus far and where we want to be years down the road. We are looking forward to our final home visit on December 30th to finish up last minute details and to complete the official “Safety Inspection” – no dangerous chemicals in reach of kids, no locked doors, crib ready to go, etc.

Then everything changed in a moment. Apparently, God has a sense of humor. For the past year and a half, we have tried off and on to have another birth baby. Things were not working out and we took that as a sign to proceed full steam ahead with the foster to adopt plan – adoption being something that we both feel very strongly about. We have our two birth kids and were looking forward to adopting. In mid-November, I went to see my doctor and filled her in on the details – issues I had been having, our plan to adopt, etc. She ordered some tests and an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. She came back with the verdict that I have poly-cystic ovaries and that it might be difficult for me to become pregnant again without medical help. She prescribed birth control to help with the symptoms temporarily and told me to come back when I was ready to try for a baby, if we wanted to.

Several weeks passed while I waited to start the pills. I was looking forward to finally having a regular schedule and emotional stability - fewer hormones driving me and my family nuts. We fully focused all of our energy on the foster-to-adopt program and really looked forward to what the future would bring. Then I began to experience some spotting. When that continued for nearly two weeks, I anxiously called the doctor about when I could start my pills. The nurse told me to go ahead and start them right away. For some reason, I asked her if I should take a pregnancy test. She said I should, just to make me feel better, and to start the pills that night. Nathan dutifully picked up two tests for me at the dollar store, since we didn’t want to waste money on an expensive negative test. I took the test that night after dinner. It turned positive before it had even reached the control line! With both Libby and Caleb, my tests were barely positive when I took them. In fact, Caleb’s was so light that I had thrown it away and then pulled it out of the trash later in the day to see an extremely faint line (not recommended by the manufacturer). I freaked out and called Nathan into the room to verify what I was seeing. I ran the second test as well with the same result.

The past several weeks since that positive test have been a roller coaster of both exciting and scary appointments. First they said my hCG levels were right on, then too low, then too high. I had an ultrasound last week and this new doctor (my regular doctor was on vacation) was unable to find anything definite. He told me to watch for signs of an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage. We spent a very nervous weekend waiting for my next appointment on Monday afternoon. This ultrasound technician was much more skilled than the young inexperienced doctor I had seen the week before. She immediately found the tiny baby and it’s clearly beating heart. She turned up the volume and my friend Karrie and I could hear it beating loud and strong! They told me that I am seven weeks along and gave an estimated due date of August 11, 2009! It turns out that I was already pregnant when I had that first ultrasound in November; it was simply too early to tell. We missed listing this new blessing at the Thanksgiving table, even though this little one enjoyed the turkey dinner, too.

So now we wait. We are still somewhat in a state of shock, as we had wholeheartedly planned on adoption happening in the very near future. We are excited about this new little one who is coming and we are sad for the little one who is not coming yet. We have decided to finish our home study and get our foster parent license after all. The process has been grueling and we are not looking forward to starting it all over again later if we let our license lapse. We plan to keep up with the required continuing education classes to keep our license current so we are ready when/if the time is right to foster or adopt later on.

On a fun note, we waited to tell Mom and Dad R the baby news on Christmas Eve. We ordered special T-shirts for the kids to wear. The fronts of the shirts said, “I have a secret. . .” and the back said "I’m going to be a big Sister/ Brother". Both kids were wearing their shirts when we arrived at Mom and Dad’s Christmas Eve. Dad read the front of Caleb’s shirt without looking at the back and then took him outside to play. Mom read the back of Libby’s shirt and naturally assumed it was referring to a foster baby coming. Later, she noticed Caleb’s shirt said the same thing. She got this funny look on her face and said, “Are we missing something obvious?” We said that maybe they were missing something, and then gave them this framed photo of Libby and Caleb holding the ultrasound picture of Number Three.
Of course, they are both very excited for a new grand-baby on the way. Now everyone has started taking votes on the sex of the new baby. Libby and I are hoping for a girl, but we are all afraid it may be a boy. Caleb is such a handful . . . I hope this one – boy or girl – is a little more calm and good natured like Daddy than the other two! :)

We are looking forward to seeing what other humorous surprises God has in store for us this upcoming year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So are we! :-)

~ Nana